Full House, Full Hands, Full Hearts

Soapbox

I am not one to rant and rave on my blog much, but today I feel inclined to get up on my soapbox for a little while because sometimes I just get sick and tired of all the misconceptions and prejudices that there are about big families.

I just do not understand the mind set of, "I would never/could never do that, so it can't/shouldn't be done." I just do not understand the belief that anything outside of what our culture deems is "normal" (2-3 kids) must be bad or "crazy" or wrong.  I 100% totally get it that having a large family is not right for everyone and I would never suggest otherwise.  But it drives me nuts that just because a lot of families are overwhelmed with two or three kids that they have to believe that there is no possible way that I could be doing a good job with raising 11 kids.

The truth of it is, big families can work really, really well. Not all of them do (and unfortunately those seem to be the ones to get lots of attention), but I know quite a few large families other than my own that are just awesome.

My kids lack for nothing, and I have no reservations in saying with confidence that my kids get as much love and attention as any kids in any family (and likely more than most). There are lots of areas in which I am not very confident, but I am very confident in saying that Josh and I are excellent parents. I am always striving (and praying) to be better and there is always room for improvement, and of  course I make mistakes and am far from perfect, but I am a dang good mom.

Being a mom is what I love to do. It is what I am good at. It is what I was put on this earth to do.

Our kids are thriving in every way... socially, emotionally, medically, developmentally, etc. They excel in school and in sports. They are well behaved. They are confident. They are loving and kind to each other and to us. They are respectful. They are FUN. They are happy. They are not perfect either (and of course kids will be kids), but they are awesome, wonderful, kids.

They all have their own unique talents, abilities and interests and they are all very much individuals, and yet there are many, many things we enjoy together as a family.

I have had teachers, principals, coaches, social workers and others comment on how well our kids do in many different ways. I have been told that they excel in their classes, they are hard workers, they are kind to the other kids, they are leaders in their classrooms, they are great examples to others, they are always prepared, etc. etc. I have been told a lot of times, "You must be doing something right."

Our home is a happy home. It is not a big chaotic mess, as people tend to imagine. It is (for the most part) clean, organized and often times even peaceful. It is a nice place to be. It's a happy place.

My kids don't parent each other. My kids don't run wild without supervision. My kids aren't overlooked or lost in the "crowd". My kids aren't starved for attention or love or affection (or anything).

Josh and I aren't frazzled and always at our wits end. We don't scream at each other and bicker all the time (in fact we truly almost never argue). We don't scream at the kids. We enjoy each other. We enjoy our life. We are happy.

Our family "works" like many others. We have meals together. We enjoy lots of activities together. We go out to eat. We travel. We celebrate birthdays and holidays. We are a "typical" family in a lot of ways. There are just more of us doing it.

Of course, like any family, we have our challenges. There is a lot (A LOT) of laundry. I have to cook a lot of food for every meal. It takes a lot of time and energy to care for everyone. Money is always a stress. (And no, we do not "make" money off of having any of our kids, which a lot of people assume... they were all private adoptions and we do not receive any money for parenting them... quite the contrary actually....)

But I don't think we have any more stress than the average family, and I would not change a single thing. Because at the end of the day, I got to bed feeling happy, fulfilled, content and very, very blessed.

The thing is, when parents choose to have a large family, they are dedicating their lives to their families and to raising children. A lot of people have children, but those children are not necessarily their priority. Josh and I do put each other first, and we do find time for each other, things we enjoy, and taking care of ourselves, but our family (our marriage and our kids) IS our life.  I am a full time mom and Josh is an incredibly dedicated and involved dad. The overwhelming majority of our time, energy, money, etc. goes into this family.

I believe that our kids are all doing so well because they know that they are loved unconditionally. They know that they have parents and siblings who know them, love them, and are behind them 100%.  They know that they are valued as individuals and accepted for who they are. They have parents who are completely invested in their happiness and well-being.

I would never say that having a large family is easy, and there are definitely things that Josh and I have "traded" in order to be able to have this family (I don't say "sacrificed" because I don't see it that way), but it is what we have chosen, and for us, it works. And it works really well.

So sometimes, I just get really tired of the looks and the comments I get when I say we have 11 kids. Sometimes I get sick of the judgments people who don't know us instantly make about our motives for having a big family and the care (or lack their of) our kids must get. Sometimes I get down right irritated that some people think there is just no way that kids can be truly happy and thrive in a large family, and that it is not possible for a family with 11 kids to work well.

Because I happen to know that it can.

(and now I'm putting my soapbox away for awhile).

Feeling awesome

This morning I got up and ran 6.2 miles (which is the distance of a 10K). I was able to do it without stopping and without walking, and I felt really dang good during the whole run!!

And to top it all off, I came home and weighed myself, and as of today I have lost 40.3 lbs since the beginning of the year. WOO HOO! I am so excited to finally hit that 40lb bench mark. It sounds crazy to me to be able to say that I have lost 40 lbs. And I have done it with no tricks, no pills, no diets... just trying to eat healthy (most of the time) and lots of exercise and hard work.

Yup... feeling pretty good this morning. :)

 Today I am taking the kids to the park for lunch and then we'll come home and watch a movie together. Josh gets off early today so we'll have a nice dinner with us all home together. It's shaping up to be a great Wednesday. :)

Fab Fourth

We had a really great Fourth of July!

On Friday night we all went out to see Ice Age Dawn of the Dinosaurs. It was cute, and we enjoyed it (although I don't think it was as funny as the other two Ice Age movies).

On Saturday I decided to take a rest day from running and I slept "in" until 7:23am. That is the latest I have slept for a long time! After breakfast I gave all of the boys haircuts (pictures coming soon) and we all got showered and dressed in red, white, and blue.

After lunch we went into town and watched the Fourth of July parade. Solomon completely mastered the "smile and wave at people on the floats so they will throw me candy" move, and we brought home quite a sack of treats. :) One of the fire trucks in the parade was spraying people with water, and since my kids jumped up and down and begged for it, they all got soaked when the fire department went by.

We stopped at the store on the way home to pick up some fireworks for Josh (my biggest child when it comes to these things). We got the kids settled down for a movie, and then Josh and I went on a hike. We made it up to the big star on the mountain and the view was amazing. The climb was really steep, but the weather was beautiful and it was great to do something with just Josh.

When we got back from our hike and the kids finished their movie, Josh barbecued and I got stuff ready for church for the next morning. After a yummy dinner I decided we needed ice cream, so Josh ran into the drive-in and came home with 13 shakes. YUM. :) Then we hung out for a little while and we headed over to our friends' house and met up with a few other families and started setting off fireworks. We had everything from sparklers to the "big ones" (oooooh....aaaaaaaaaah). Mother Nature decided to do some fireworks of her own, and when the rain got heavy and the lightning got close, we bagged it up quickly and got home to put 11 very tired kiddos to bed.

Yesterday we went to church and then enjoyed a restful day at home.

Oh, and Josh and I got ourselves all registered for the Deseret News 10K on July 24. I am excited! 

That is all that has been going on here... this week is fairly quiet. Mercy has "open gym" a few days for volleyball practice, Ryan is working two hours a day in an elderly woman's yard, Shane and Ben have a day camp for Boy Scouts on Thursday, and I am just getting caught up housework and adoption work.

I hope everyone had a great Independence Day! This is definitely one family that is proud to be American. :)

Here are a couple of pics from our hike. I love where we live!

Bad blogger

Gosh I have been a bad blogger lately. My time has just been filled up with family, fun and work.  I sure do love summer time. A lot of people say to me, "Oh, I bet YOU can't wait until school starts again", but I really do enjoy having the kids home and I truly enjoy the summer time with my family.

We have settled into a really nice routine. I get up each morning and leave the house by 6am for my run. I am back by 7 and get into the shower and Josh goes to run. Usually the little boys are up around 7, and the big kids start coming up at 7:30. Des, Mercy and Amanda are my sleepers, and some days they don't come up until 9 or 9:30am. We usually have breakfast all together at 9 (with whoever is awake).

We've been having lunch around 1:30pm and dinner around 6-6:30pm, and we have a "rest time" where we all lay down and watch a movie together in the afternoon after lunch. Some days I work and some days (like yesterday) I lay down with the kids. 

Some days we go to the park or go out somewhere, but a lot of days we just play out in the yard, ride bikes, etc. I have been really impressed with how well the kids are getting along this summer and how nicely they are playing. The boys have been spending lots of time with Legos, the little girls have all sorts of Polly Pockets and other little dolls that have an elaborate ongoing game, all of the kids love the trampoline, Ben and Shane have been spending lots of time practicing soccer (their season starts in August), and bike riding is a big favorite too.

On top of that, everyoe has to read a minimum of 30 minutes each day and has one chore to get done.

Our summer is about half-way done and we are still enjoying each other and no one is complaining about being bored, so I think we're doing pretty well! :)

I did have to schedule our annual doctor checkups and dental appointments, which is NOT something I particularly enjoy. I used to try and just do each child's appointments in the month of their birthdays, but then it seemed like we were at the doctor and the dentist ALL THE TIME. I found it was a lot easier to just get them done in the summer when we aren't super busy. So we have "girl day" at the doctor and "girl day" at the dentist and then "boy day" at each. They are LONG days, but it seems to be the best way to just get it done. :)

My brother and his girlfriend are coming out at the beginning of August to spend a week with us (which will be SUPER fun) and then when they go back to NY they are going to take Maggie and Amanda with them. Each summer my Dad and Pam bring out two kids for a week of spoiling, and it is Maggie and Amanda's turn. They are getting to see the Little Mermaid on Broadway, and they are way, way excited. At the end of their week in NY, Josh is going to fly out and spend a couple of days and then he will bring the girls home.

I think that pretty much sums up what we have been up to here...

Tonight we are going on a "family date night" to see the new Ice Age movie. Tomorrow we are planning on going to the town Fourth of July Parade, barbecuing out in the yard, going to the rodeo, and then watching the fireworks.  Should be a fun weekend!

I hope everyone has a fun and safe weekend! :)

Adoption update

A more detailed update about my work as the adoption coordinator for HIV+ kids for AAI will soon be posted on the AAI blog. If you haven't checked it out yet, there are all sorts of great posts to check out about the work that AAI does, our programs and our families. :)

I have been working in this position for 18 months now and it has been very exciting to see the steady growth of interest in adopting HIV+ children, and the slow but steady increase in the number of HIV+ children we are being able to place with families.

To give you an idea of how the program has grown, in 2005, AAI placed two HIV+ children for adoption from Ethiopia. In 2006, four HIV+ children joined new families (one of which was my Belane!). In 2007, 13 HIV+ children were placed for adoption from Ethiopia through AAI, and in 2008 there were 28 (one of which was my Solomon!). In 2009 we already have 10 HIV+ kids home from Ethiopia, and another 29 children in process.

For the first time we have had paper ready families waiting for a referral of a young, HIV+ child, and we are now being able to match HIV+ infants and very young toddlers almost as soon as they are ready to be referred.

We do still have plenty of HIV+ children waiting to be adopted. At this time I have 69 HIV+ children in Ethiopia that are available for adoption, with the youngest being two and a half years old, and the oldest being 14 years old. Those numbers include quite a few sibling groups, some of which have two HIV+ children and others which have one HIV+ child and then one or two HIV negative siblings.

While things have not come together as we had hoped to place children from Hardthaven in Ghana, AAI has their first adoption of an HIV+ child from Ghana in progress right now, with several more HIV+ children hopefully being adopted soon from Ghana as well. And, we are also really excited to have our first HIV+ adoptions from Thailand just starting.

It will be wonderful to get these first HIV+ children home from Ghana and Thailand and into their new families.

As the news continues to spread that HIV is now considered a chronic but manageable condition when treatment is available, that HIV is not transmitted by any form of casual contact, and that HIV+ children are available for adoption, I am very hopeful that we will continue to see increasing numbers of HIV+ children being placed for adoption by AAI. I am glad to get to be a part of it!

If you want to read about why I believe people should adopt HIV+ kids, you can read  about it here.

And if you would like to help fight the stigma surrounding HIV that is still all too prevalent, you can  Tell Two and help spread the facts. :)

Busy

Some bullet points...

-Summer is already a third over... crazy!

-We have been really busy this week.

-I was baby sitting for my friend's three boys in the mornings.

- I had to work four hours yesterday and four hours this morning to earn my gym membership for June  (from when I couldn't run).

- I will post an update on the adoptions of HIV+ kids soon. :)

- Nate is on a Boy Scout camping trip until today.

- Mercy is gone for four days next week on a camping trip with our church.

- I miss my kids when they are gone!

- This morning Josh and the kids are out walking at the Relay for Life while I do my shift at the gym.

- We have our friends from Seattle (who used to live in NY with us) coming this weekend with their five kids... yup, we're going to have 16 kids in the house for the weekend. Should be fun! The house is pretty clean but we need to do some serious grocery shopping today.

- Josh and I did get to go on a date again last night (we went to see the Terminator movie...fun stuff).

- It is almost our 13th wedding anniversary. Yay!!!

- I logged in over 22 miles running this week and I am feeling really good.

More soon! Have a great weekend everybody. :)

GOOD stuff

Just heard from the doctors (finally!)

Solomon's numbers were normal (or close to) after the second blood draw, and they feel confident that the issues they saw with the first blood draw were a result of him having an ear infection. On top of that, his CD4% was up to 27% (which is the highest it has ever been and FINALLY has him over 25% where he should be!!!) So he is doing awesome and we do not need to change his medications. Yay Shorty!!

Belane's labs were all great too. It is so good to hear. :)

Phew. :)

In other good news... I ran 4.6 miles this morning, which is the farthest I have ever gone at once (and I did no stopping or walking). Josh and I are planning on running in a 10K on July 24 so I am working my way up to the 6.2 mile distance. I am feeling really good about it! And, as of this morning, I have lost 38.6 lbs!! I can't wait to hit that 40lb mark!!  For two weeks the scale didn't budge, but this week the weight has been coming off again. Yay!!!

Ok, I am off to take the kids to the park for lunch with friends. The sun is shining and it is a beautiful day. :)

More soon!

Questions

Ok, so I totally stink at answering questions left in comments. I am going to answer a whole bunch now, and if you have asked a question and I didn't answer go ahead and comment on this post and I promise I'll answer it. :)

Kayla - What kind of meals (dinners) do you cook?
I cook relatively easy meals that feed a lot of people at once. :) We do lots of tacos, enchiladas, lasagna, spaghetti, pasta dishes, meat and potatoes, chili, pancakes (the kids love "breakfast for dinner"), etc. This time of year we barbecue a lot and in the winter we use the crock pot a lot.

Miss Lila - I just went back and reread your bio. I had completely forgotten you are in the Rocky Mountains! I was born and raised in Colorado Springs, CO. Are you far from there?
I sure miss washing dishes, looking out the window and seeing Pikes Peak!;(
Nope, we are in western Wyoming, very close to the Idaho border.

Steph - You sound like me with all your crying at a kids movie. So I'll ask you what everybody always asks me when I show my emotional side at heartwarming movie moments- Are you pregnant?
This totally made me laugh, but nope... not pregnant. I am just a big mush. :)

Tal - off topic, but could you post your recipe for dirty potatoes? (as well as an update on marcus and his love of potatoes!)

It is pretty basic... we slice or dice about 15-18 potatoes, and then put them in a huge roaster pan with about 2lbs of cooked ground beef, one pound of bacon, green and red peppers, and onions. When the potatoes are tender we add a bunch of shredded cheese and cook for just a few more minutes. It is super delicious.

And as far as Marcus is concerned, much to my surprise, he is still eating potatoes after the great "five year old tongue change". Cracks me up!!!

SarahH - We really might be driving relatively close to you the first week of August....perhaps we could actually meet in person this time??! Sarah, we'd love to see you guys! Send me an email and let me know when and where you are going to be and we'll see what we can do. It would be way fun to finally meet you in person!! :)

Lorna - Just curious, does Ben remember more Amharic than the 2 little ones? No, he doesn't. Solomon still uses a few Amharic words (mostly because I do). Belane does not remember or use any Amharic and neither does Ben. Ben came home at 5 1/2 and only knew a tiny bit of English, and he became completely fluent in English in just a few months (it was amazing). But, he lost his Amharic just as fast. :(  When the waiters at the restaurant spoke to him in Amharic he didn't understand at all. We do have some Amharic-learning books and toys for kids and he loves to relearn it and picks it up quickly. I hope that one day he will be fluent again. :)

E's mommy - What Ethiopian restaurant did you guys go to? We'll be in NYC with our little Ethiopians next week. We ate at the Queen of Sheba, which I believe was on 10th Avenue. Have fun!!!

Ok, sorry again to be such a slacker with answering questions, and if you have one fire away and I promise I'll answer quickly. :)

Happy Father's Day!

I am lucky enough to be able to say that I was raised by a truly wonderful and amazing dad, and now I have the privilege of being married to the greatest husband and father ever. What a wonderful reason to celebrate and be grateful today!! :)  Yay for dads!!! Happy Fathers day everybody!!

Ugh

So much for happy Friday... the doctor's office just called. I knew it wasn't good that they were calling me less than 24 hours after the labs were drawn because most of the labs take a few days to get back, and they usually just call me when they have all of the results.

Solomon's complete blood count (CBC) showed two different white blood cell counts that were both significantly off (in the "severe" category). We have to go to our hospital asap and have his labs redrawn to verify the results. The doctor seemed to think it is likely that the HIV medications are causing this so he may need to have his medications changed. At this point though he is at a higher risk for infection, especially bacterial infection.

Ugh. My poor buddy.